Monday, June 30, 2008

Hyperdunks! 2015! That's how you do it!

As we inch ever so closer to the wondrous future of 2015 with its flying cars, handless video games, and convenient cold fusion technology; the signs of progress are slowly becoming apparent. Just recently, Nike has announced that sometime by the end of July, there will be an Air McFly edition (sans power laces) of their latest Hyperdunks line! While it is still quite disappointing that the shoes will not be equipped with their trademark pneumatic power lace tying technology, this is, regardless, a significant step forward. In terms of my previous ultimatum, I have to say we now have about four and a half to go. Now, can self drying clothes and Dustratron paper be far off?

Apparently the shoes from the film were the original inspiration for the Hyperdunks line in the first place. In a way you can say that they were retro-engineered from the future. If you think about it, it makes total sense. How else could a company have come up with an athletic shoe that is so far ahead of its time that it allowed Kobe Bryant to avoid a speeding Aston Martin as gracefully and as effortlessly as a Colorado sexual assault conviction? Obviously for the new round of marketing campaigns for the Air McFly, they will have to get Michael J. Fox to perform the even more impressive feat of jumping over a speeding 1946 Ford Convertible (perhaps we can even get Christoper Lloyd to play the Ronny Turiaf buddy role).

We're gonna see some serious shit!

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Welcome to Con Air

Last weekend on TNT (We Know Drama!), I caught the second of back to back airings of that quintessential, dramatic, exploration of the human condition known as "Con Air". After watching it in its complete entirety for the first time since it came out on cable (can you believe it's been about ten years?), I have to admit it's probably my all time favorite Jerry Bruckheimer/Michael Bay blockbuster. I would be completely wrong, however, since, as I later found out, this was a Jerry Bruckheimer/Simon West effort. Yes, despite all the explosions, notable stars, improbably simplistic storyline, and blockbuster earnings synonymous with a Bruckheimer/Bay production, this summer blockbuster masterpiece was actually directed by the auteur of such box office heavyweights like "The General's Daughter" and "When a Stranger Calls".

My revelations about this movie however were not just limited to the final credits. Watching it carefully again through the older, possibly wiser, eyes of 2008 Victor as oppose to 1998 Victor I picked up on a few interesting, confusing, and sometimes downright troubling aspects of the film I missed as a high school freshman. Just a few things.

One minor thing I noticed about the movie right from the opening minutes is when Nicholas Cage's Cameron Poe and his wife, Monica Potter, start slow dancing in that bar in Alabama before all the events that lead him to prison for 5 or 6 years, Trisha Yearwood's version of "How Do I Live" is playing in the background. The Diane Warren penned classic was written specifically for the film in 1997 and led to the great LeAnn Rimes/Trisha Yearwood "How Do I Live" rivalry (the Bird vs. Magic of female country ballad showdowns) that led to Rimes' version getting the charts victory but Yearwood's version winning the head to head Female Country Vocal Performance Grammy. What bothers me is the song is being played from the jukebox, which means that in the fantasy universe of Con Air, "How Do I Live" came out sometime around 1990-1991. If the song came off non-diegetic, off screen you could just chalk it up as background music, but once it's part of the scene it becomes a total anachronism. Not a huge detail but now I have to go into the movie with the mindset of it being an alternate universe or another planet that is exactly like earth except for that one detail.

One big thing I noticed about the movie, unfortunately due to my recent experiences as a first year law student, was how completely wrong the legal issues were in the film. I immediately recognized that Cameron Poe had a textbook case of self-defense. The scene where he's being confronted by the three rednecks is staged like a poorly written criminal law essay question. There was no provocation on the part of Poe to incriminate him and the camera shows that there was an obvious, imminent deadly force being used by the one redneck with the knife; which is the only time you're allowed to use deadly force in kind. The whole hands as deadly weapon thing is also a total movie thing. The wikipedia criticisms page echoes my sentiments and adds a few other apparent legal fallacies in the film (no parole for federal inmates, the question of federal jurisdiction versus state court) along with additional beefs for the improper medical portrayal of Baby-O's diabetes (I'm sure Wilford Brimley is furious).

On the topic of Baby-O, the sympathetic prisoner friend of Poe; I wondered what sort of horrible crime he committed to be there in the first place. Oh sure it's easy to think he's a swell guy and pull for him to get the insulin on time and admire the heroism he shows towards the end of the film when he takes a bullet for Poe, but as they laid out on the beginning of the film, the plane is supposed to be full of the worst people in the prison system. Despite the nice guy routine and the diabetes, Baby-O must have at least committed some sort of serious crime, to be locked up in a maximum security prison. Or perhaps there was just a special cell block at San Quinten for hard luck cases where good people got raw deals?

The movie's real strength is in its motley cast of inmate villains (because it's sure as hell not coming from Nick Cage's boring Southern fried hero). The best movies are the ones like this where a group of characters come into a crazy situation with elaborate and wild back stories (and nicknames!). You got the evil rapist (Johnny-23), evil mass murderer (Billy Bedlam), the evil black militant (Diamond Dog), the evil arsonist (Pinball), the evil serial killer (Garland Greene), the evil criminal mastermind (Cyrus the Virus), that transvestite guy, among many others. As crazy as the idea of John Malkovich being in a big summer blockbuster action movie (how come no one ever mentions "Con Air" in "Being John Malkovich"?) he actually pulls of the villain role perfectly. He's charismatic, ambitious, badass, and unflinchingly villainous to the core. And how can you tell he's going to be unwaveringly sinister? The filmmakers use the oldest trick in the book: Bald Guy With Facial Hair.

It's about as subtle as making him wear all black and having him wring his hands menacingly while ominous background music plays.

The film's ending at first glance is inline with all other summer blockbuster picture endings, with the hero triumphing over all the seemingly impossible odds. All the other criminals are either dead or captured and Poe gets to meet his darling wife and cute kid and he gives her the rabbit (on her birthday no less!). However when Poe is shaking hands with U.S. Marshall Larkin on the destroyed Vegas Strip and admiring a job well done, isn't some guy going to point out everything else that went completely wrong? Like the dead undercover DEA agent? Or the dozens of National Guardsmen and police officers that got ambushed at the airfield? Or the dead prisoners that had nothing to do with any of this? The death of a that drug kingpin that they were trying to interrogate and investigate? The civilian casualties involved when a plane horrifically crashes into a crowded major city? The millions upon millions of dollars of damage to the Las Vegas Strip? The fact that Steve Buchemi's incredibly dangerous and demented serial killer is now set loose again? But, hey as long as Poe got to meet his family on time.

Despite all the criticisms I do want to set the record straight. While it seems that all these questions and flaws should make me not the movie as much, somehow I end up liking it even more! A prerequisite for an exploding blockbuster action flick is a healthy amount of confusion and implausibility. Too much will make it unwatchably incomprehensible to enjoy, while too much realism will drain it of all its fun. For a piece of high concept fare like "Con Air" there was a perfect balance. Maybe in another ten years my thirty something self (gross) will find some other unnoticed facet of this cinematic gem.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Loose Cannon

Anyone with an ear to the sports world or even to the comings and going of celebrity buzz, no doubt has seen or heard the recent bit of impromptu freestylin' by Shaq at a New York club. Now I'm far from someone that's qualified to be judging the merits of a good freestyle diss, but from what I see, it appears that along with his basketball skills, his rapping skills have significantly eroded. 2008 Shaq in Phoenix was definitely not the Shaq I recall of the Magic/Lakers as much as 2008 Shaq rapping was not the Shaq I recall of the free CD single that came with Genesis copies of "Shaq Fu."

The bulk of the controversy of the clip is that most of Shaq's spitting hot fire is directed towards his ex-teammate and recent NBA Finals loser Kobe Bryant. Personally I think the attention this is getting is definitely a bit overblown for a couple of reasons. The main reason is that well...Shaq's right. Shaq has managed win another ring sans-Kobe, with a Miami Heat team that was quite possibly the least talented team to win the NBA Finals in the last 25 years. Kobe and the Lakers were viewed by many as the favorites coming into the final series and, in the end, put up even less of a fight against the Celtics than the sub-.500 Atlanta Hawks in the first round. Shaq has every right to call out Kobe on that, at least in the realm of freestyle rap battles, until Kobe can prove he can win san-Shaq. The other reason this is all meaningless is the plain fact that, Shaq's dissing is just so bad that it can hardly even be construed as disrespect or a serious opening salvo. How awkward is that part of the video when Shaq's trying to get everyone to sing along to the chorus of "Kobe, tell me how my azz taste"? No matter how one can turn it or flip it or change the context, it just can't avoid coming off as more than a little lame...and homoerotic.

My only problem with Shaq's rhymes is the calling out of my man, Patrick Ewing, for not having any rings. Not cool, man. Ewing did the best he can under the circumstances and there just wasn't enough talent around him to bring the Knicks over the top. Also, is it wise to be dissing on a New York City basketball icon when you're trying to work the crowd and get them on your side in a club in NEW YORK CITY?

Unfortunately for Shaq, I wasn't the only one who found his freestyle skills to be lacking. The Maricopa County Sheriff did not approve and stripped him of his special deputy's badge, despite the positive feedback of some of the biggest names in the rap community (and Cory Gunz). This will no doubt be a big letdown for the Diesel since he mentioned many times, his interest in being a law enforcement official after his playing career; which if he continues his current decline in health and playing abilities, will be sooner then later.

Now I'm sure Shaq's recent demotion form the Maricopa County Sheriff's Department was handled formally and without much dramatics but I find it a lot more interesting to picture it like a gritty 70's police procedural. So instead of Shaq getting some phone call or a letter he walks into the tense, sweltering office of County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, played by say Fred "Hammer" Williamson:

Chief: I see that your latest bit of "police work" made the headlines, O'Neal. (tosses newspaper on desk)

Shaq: I got Kobe didn't I?

Chief: "How my azz taste?" Was that really necessary!?

Shaq: You tell me Chief. You read the articles, you saw the clip. It's not like you were up there, rep on the line. I'm sure you can make up a pretty easy line when you're sitting behind your big desk in a comfortable chair.

Chief: Dammit, O'Neal! You know what you are? You're a loose canon! It doesn't matter who gets dissed or how labored the rhymes are, as long you get your man, hotshot!

Shaq: Did you see Game 6...

Chief: I don't want to hear it anymore, O'Neal! I am goddamn sick and tired of explaining your antics to the mayor and the chief of police! I don't know who you think you are, but here we have standards!

Shaq: I have five original albums and two compilations, don't you dare lecture me on standards.

Chief: That may be the case, but I'm afraid the higher ups have spoken. Give me your badge.

Shaq: Chief, you can't be seri-

Chief: Give me you badge, deputy! You brought this upon yourself!

Shaq: (disdainfully throws badge onto desk) You know, I used to respect you. I used to think you were a damn good sheriff, someone who would defend a freestyle rhyme regardless of quality. You've obviously changed.

Chief: It's out of my hands.

...and scene!

Friday, June 20, 2008

VSO's 100 Blogs...100 Typos: 10 - 1

The long and winding road has led us to this, the final edition of the VSO 100 Blogs...100 Typos countdown. Like the recently canceled NBC series "Las Vegas", all good things must come to an end. Ninety entries have passed and now it's onto the all time top ten! I guess if you're some kind of insane "Victor Sells Out" fanatic (it's understandable) then you may have already narrowed down the final group of ten by the process of elimination; but for the rest of the people out there with jobs and lives, I'm sure you're all in torturous suspense over what made the final spots. I would say the extended delay between the previous post and this one was to create the adequate gravitas for the final unveiling rather than the simple fact that I was lazy, but then I'd be a liar.

So for one last time, lead me to the blogs:

10. So I might as well begin to put some action in my life
December 21, 2007
Recently the last of my second semester grades finally tricked in through the registrar. In all, I actually ended up doing slightly worse than my first semester (which weren't exactly head of the class like numbers to begin with). I'm not sure really how to account for this discrepancy. I was equally lazy and unmotivated and was just as confused on the finals as the first semester. I might say that I stayed the same and my classmates got better, but nothing has shown me that most of them are any less lazy, unmotivated, and confused as the previous semester. That only leads me to conclude that I just haven't been listening to enough Judas Priest during finals time. I had eschewed my first semester anthem "Breaking the Law" for gimmicky trends like "silence" and "non distracting ambient music" to my eventual under performance. Could it be that along with possibly causing suicides, the influential British metal of Priest, aids in the studying process? I'll have to test that theory for my upcoming Civil Procedure Final in July. If you need me you'll find me in the 2nd floor study area with my notes, my Glannon Study Guide, and a copy of "British Steel".

9. It's Pat! 33 Things I Remember About Patrick Ewing
April 8, 2008
I actually had a lot of fun, reminiscing about Ewing and 90s Knicks basketball while coming up with my 33 memories (fortunately I didn't create for myself the unenviable task of writing a post about fellow Hall of Fame big man, George Mikan). I really do miss the days when the Knicks were consistently, rock solid, good and weren't made up of players that I have nothing but contempt for. Despite my great desire to see the Knicks make their way back to respectability, I have to say I'm still not that optimistic despite all the recent developments (new GM, new coach, high draft pick). All the talented management and coaching in the world still won't immediately turn around a team full of bad players with even worse contracts and since Ewing, the Knicks have had a less than stellar history of first round choices (Frederic Weis, John Wallace, Michael Sweetney). Knicks should think about re-signing Charles Oakley, he may be 130 but I'm sure he'll still play solid defense and gets a few boards a game.

8. Negligent like candy
February 14, 2008
Perhaps one day in the future I'll have kids; and maybe one day they'll come up to me on their hoverboards and self lacing shoes and ask their old man what life was like growing up. If I'm too busy or lazy to provide a long, complicated answer that actually provides detail and depth about adolescent life at the turn of the New Millennium, I'll just tell them to watch the "Candy" video. More so than those other "iconic" teeny bopper videos of the late 90s-early 00s, "Candy" somehow manages to give me a brief, fleeting, genuine, flashback to that period of time. I can't really explain it, maybe it's the dated portable cd player she's using, those ugly "New Beetles", the skateboarding, or the fact that we're the same age. Whatever it is, the whole thing comes off as just slightly more real then those Britney or Nsync videos which have gone through the nostalgia machine so many times they've lost all meaning to me. Oh, and it will also show my kids what life was like before our apocalyptic war with the machines.

7. Soundtrack Serendipity (Not the soundtrack to Serendipity)
October 20, 2007
The mind is just this hollow chamber filled with little rubber super balls of thoughts, ideas, memories, etc all uncontrollably bouncing off each other. Every once in a while two seemingly completely divergent thoughts will smash into each other and suddenly it'll all too briefly make sense. That's basically the above entry in a nutshell. Looking back over it, I thought two things: there sure are a lot of improper admission and omission of commas and semicolons and how the hell did I ever think of these connections? I guess that's the only advice I can give to being at least an interesting writer, just keep filling your head with enough random, useless, crap that eventually some will form an unholy union and something fresh and interesting will come out. Of course filling your head with such things will most likely also make you completely useless as a productive practical member of society.

6. Girls go to Jupiter to get more stupider...Sitcom shows go to college to completely suck
September 8, 2007
Thus far the successful college sitcom still remains one of the great challenges of the sitcom genre. The setting rules for a successful sitcom now seems to stand at (in chronological order):
For a genre based on comedy, it sounds like a pretty empty and unfulfilling life.

5. Being There
November 19, 2007
Even though it only happened a few months ago, that big scary writer's strike now seems like such a distant memory. I truly feel sad for anyone whose quality of life was seriously hurt by the lack of scripted prime time programming. I look at all the generic, uninspired crap the networks throw at the prime time TV viewer and wonder how anyone could lower their standards of entertainment so much to build their nightly viewing schedules around it. With some minor exceptions, I could have waited this strike out for years without getting the shakes for new episodes of "Viva Laughlin" or "Men in Trees". The saddest thought of all is that there's a serious group of people whose lives are so bland and uneventful that any sort of escapism, even sub par network TV escapism, is worthwhile. To those I just want to mention that at any given time there's a 90% chance that rerun of "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" on Nick at Nite is better than whatever prime time fare you're watching.

4. 877-393-4448
January 22, 2008
The single search phrase that drives the most people to my blog's humble little corner of the internet is not even a phrase at all; it's "877-393-4448". Aside from youtube links to the clip, as of this post, my "877-393-4448" entry is the very first item you get when you Google the number. I have to begrudgingly admit it, but thus far, it is still probably the best commercial I've seen all year. It has all the elements that make up a quality TV spot: it's memorable, it puts the product at the forefront, it's creative, it creates a positive, happy image of the brand (no small feet considering the amount of misery associated with cable companies, and it was repeated like hell. All of this combined to wear down even the most cynical of TV watcher, an absolute coup for the marketers. The new commercial, on the other hand? Extremely disappointing.

3. You, Me, and Dupre
March 17, 2008
Quirky Pop-Up Factoid!: This article was far and away my most popular article due to it being pick up by some random internet news roll. The exposure of hundreds upon hundreds of new viewers a day made for an interesting week and a half. I could have taken this lesson to heart and only wrote stuff about the latest and juiciest pieces of tabloid fodder that may have attracted more people, however I had to maintain my commitment towards articles about unpopular esoteric pop culture and gratuitous self congratulation. I also must say I've enjoyed the wild three or so months under our kooky legally blind interim governor, David Patterson. Right after taking the job he admitted to pot and cocaine use, plus an extramarital affair, made the state honor out-of-state gay marriages, saved Off-track Betting, and pardoned the Ruler himself Slick Rick. I really hope he decides to go for his own full term.

2. "One Two, One Two Punch, Mac!"
August 9, 2007
I'm not really sure why I like this entry so much. By my usual "Punch Out" standards it's a pretty underwhelming effort. I usually make it up to at least Mr. Sandman before getting completely pwned. I think if you broke it down, it may be my most ambitious single entry. It's probably the longest in terms of writing and all those shots were actual game footage, carefully taken and meticulously cropped and formatted. The whole thing sort of comes off as a documentary (think "King of King" except I play both the hero and the villain and neither are all that good at the video game). The astonishing thing was I don't recall the whole process of writing that entry all that strenuous, which is crazy considering how much of an effort it is for me just to put up a fluff piece that's 75% pictures. I'm just going to have to chalk it all up to some divine, Punch-Out loving, hand; guiding my own to spread the word about the greatest boxing game the NES had to offer.

1. I don't know how to put this but we're kind of a big deal
July 20, 2007
Was there any doubt? There were a lot of fine, interesting posts in the old archives but how many of them detailed the single greatest moment of my life thus far? I don't want to throw out any spoilers but if I ever do a 100 Blogs...100 Typos Strikes Back this will still be number one. It will still be number one until I ever have reason to write another post about how I won more money then I've ever seen in my life by being awesome on national TV...which I doubt will ever happen again. People like to say things like "when I got married" or "when I held my newborn child" or some other sentimental hogwash as the greatest moment of their lives, 9 out of 10 times that's bullshit. Anyone can get married, anyone can pump out a kid. Your moment is more likely some big thing you won, or some beautiful person you fucked, or some sweet revenge you got, or some amazing flawless, day you had. By its nature, the best moment of your life should tend to be something completely selfish and self serving. If you're honest with yourself you'll realize that best moment was when everything you wanted worked out for one brief shinning instant in time. This was mine, and that's why it's the final entry.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

VSO's 100 Blogs...100 Typos: 20 - 11

The penultimate edition of the VSO 100 Blogs...100 Typos countdown is upon us. Can you believe it? Eighty entries have been exhumed and desecrated as we now enter the terrible teens. Of course if everything went according to the timetable I laid out in the previous post, the countdown should have had its glorious finale yesterday and this entry would be about Urklebot or me ranking the tracks from "The Nylon Curtain." If you were holding your breath for the past two days based on my promises then you obviously don't know me that well (and you're most likely dead from asphyxiation). One of my defining characteristics is not living up to the promises I make, to myself and to other. This will probably also lead me to become the worst, most disappointing, "Cat's In the Cradle" father ever.

When I'm gonna blog again? I don't know when, but we'll have the blogs out now!:

January 24, 2008
In fulfilling the FCC's yearly quota for public service announcements for pop culture blogs with moderate to light daily readership here are a few tips (derived from my recollection of Law and Order: SVU episodes and random wikipedia entries) for...Determining If Your Child Is A Potential Serial Killer:

Does your child display one or more of the "Macdonald triad" of warning signs?:
  • Fire starting, interest in arson.
  • Cruelty to animals, involving torturing or killing of larger animals.
  • Bed wetting beyond the normal age when they grow out of it.
Are you a prostitute, a physically/psychologically/sexually abusive parent, alcoholic, or any combination of all three?

Does your child have rich fantasy life centered around rape, torture, and murder?

Does your child suffer from feelings of inadequacy, worthlessness, arising from humiliation and abuse?

Do your child have the inability to determine right from wrong?

Does your child display lack of sympathy and empathy for others?

Do you suspect that your child is wearing a "mask of sanity" during periods of non-psychotic behavior?

When asked what they would like to be when they grow up have they ever responded, "a person who murders three or more people with an initial 'cooling off' period between each murder and whose motivation for said murders are based mostly on psychological gratification"?

19. Smell the Glove
April 14, 2008
I once read that according some researchers (the kind who don't want to waste their valuable time finding cures for cancer or solving global energy problems) the most powerful female aphrodisiac is baby powder since it subconsciously triggers in their minds that inherent female need to get knocked up and continue the species. On the male side it was cinnamon, for reasons I can't recall (inherent male need to chew Big Red?). For me, the scent I always dig is the smell of sunblock. I'm not a fan of the beach, pools, and most activities that involve long periods of being exposed to sun but I do enjoy chicks in bikinis and that unique sunblock smell that you can't find anywhere else. I'd wear sunblock all the time if I didn't despise using lotions of every sort. If they'd bottled that scent and made a super concentrated cologne to just dab behind the ears I'd get on board. It'd kinda be like Kramer's idea for "The Beach" except without that sea smell.

18. Sometimes a Fantasy...
May 23, 2008
If anyone is still wondering, I still haven't forgiven that bitch! I know that in America one is innocent until proven guilty; but in the kangaroo court that is the court of Victor's opinion, Mariah Carey is still guilty of pissing on my childhood until she or an agent working on her behalf provides me definitive proof that she did not sabotage my outing to Rye Playland in the mid 90s. Failing proof of innocence, I will also accept a heartfelt sorry letter and a DVD of "Glitter" signed by Ms. Carey. Until that time, this blog and I will never endorse any creative output by one Mariah Carey, even all her awesome, mega hit, pop classics from the 90s.

17. How many of you are familiar with the concept of a "tontine"?
July 16, 2007
As of the posting of this entry none of the surviving cast members of the five movies/television series have passed on. This is especially astonishing considering the main cast of the "Golden Girls" is still going strong. They even showed up (sans Estelle Getty) to receive "The Pop Culture Award" at that TVLand Awards (one of the most bizarre and nonsensical award shows ever created). While their tontine will remain unresolved for decades to come, I think the more relevant question would be who will be the first girl to go? Bea Arthur and Betty White are the oldest at 86, Estelle Getty is right behind them at 85, while Rue McClanahan is 74. The safe money would be on Getty since she unfortunately has been in ill health in recent years but she was also in "Stop or My Mom Will Shoot!" so we know she's a tough broad. We all know Bea Arthur will, along with Angela Lansbury, be forever 70 and Rue McClanahan has more than a decade on the rest of them. By the process of elimination my vote goes to poor Betty White to be the first to meet St. Olaf.

16. The Victor Abroad, Part I, 6/12: Do You Know the Way to San Jose?
July 6, 2007
Before the VSO 100 Blogs...100 Typos, my Costa Rican Travelogue was suppose to be my big ten part anthology. Unfortunately due to getting caught up in the hoopla of the airing of the "World Series of Pop Culture", this series suffered an "Emily's Reasons Why Not"-like brief run. To my defense I did mention that sudden cancellation would be one of the things to possibly look out for when the series started. I regret not getting at least an entry or two into the project since I did write out a fairly extensive amount of observations and insights in my journal while traveling. I could restart it now but it will be even more fictitious and unreliable than a year ago. Perhaps that may actually end up making my travel story even better.

15. Victor's One Time Special March Legal Madness Acceptance Pool!!
March 9, 2007
One shout out for an abruptly canceled series deserves another. While this series and the series above were both technically failures, there is still much credit to be given (by myself to myself) for ambitiousness. There's really nothing more I can say about the VOTSMLMAP that hasn't been said in the three previous ranked entries (#67, #66, and #65). My parting insight on law school is that, regardless of if you really want to be a lawyer or not, the experience of law school will uniformly suck.

14. The "quarterlife" Experiment
February 28, 2008
I remember the words just effortlessly flowing out of my mind, down my arms and my fingers perfectly syncing them to the keyboard, making reality both my unexpected rage and satisfaction to be forever immortalized in the aether and broadcast to the world. Waxing poetic aside, "quarterlife" was SHIT! Like I wrote in the entry, I and everyone that was in the "quarterlife" of their lives was or should have been offended by this minstrel show of supposed mid-twenties, post collegiate life. It was a relieving example of the system working when the show immediately got axed after episode one (a la "Emily's Reasons Why Not" and my Costa Rican Travelogue). I should feel similarly disgusted with "Young American Bodies" which is essentially the same series, but I give it some slack since it's actually made by people of my generation and it's really just a forum to show sex and nudity (which redeems any flawed work of art in my book).

13. We've got the team work to make the dream WORK!
May 9, 2007
With the current turmoil and under performance of the Mets, it seems less and less likely that there will be another World Series run like '86 in the cards this year. A lot has been said and written about the the failure of the Mets after 1986 to live up to their potential and become a dynasty. I agree it was a great disappointment for the Mets to have never won another title and an even greater disappointment for two Hall of Fame caliber talents like Doc Gooden and Daryl Strawberry to have had their careers wrecked by off the field troubles. However, a part of me still wonders if they had won another three or four championships, would they have been as memorable? Dynasties are well and good, but with a few exceptions many are boring and forgettable. I recall being consistently bored by the Yankees' late 90s string of World Series victories. When people recall the most memorable Super Bowl, they'll more often recall the Jets' lone victory in SB III than any of the Dallas Cowboys' five. The same can go for any of the Spurs 4 titles. So while it is sad that the 80's Mets turned out to be a one hit wonder, in the end perhaps it made that championship all the more special (although they really should have made it past the Dodgers in '88).

12. Victor's Ten Random Thoughts on Tecmo Super Bowl
February 8, 2007
No top ten list of the greatest games ever made for the NES (possibly for video games consoles) should not include Tecmo Super Bowl. When I hear a Beatles song I can kind of understand that while it seems a little simple by modern standards it still holds up and it must have been mind blowingly original when it originally came out. This is the same way I feel about Tecmo Super Bowl, it's obviously completely outflanked ten times over by the the modern incarnations of Madden, yet it still has all the essential elements of the modern games (licensed teams, players, statistics, injuries) and other football games of its day when compared to Tecmo were literally generic pixels moving across a green background. It dominated like Bo Jackson against the Patriots.

11. In the white room...
March 7, 2008
I don't know what the "I Love the New Millenium" trainwreck on VH1 will do for memorable music videos to look back and snark about. As ridiculous and dated the 80s and 90s were in terms of music videos, at least they had an original vision, an earnest ambition to take the medium in a specific direction. By the 2000's everybody gradually stopped watching videos and pop culture in a large part started to become this faceless, postmodern, rehash, reinterpretation of past trends and nostalgia (kind of like this countdown). Eight years into the 00's and I can't think of any videos that captures and defines the "2000's" like all the white room views captured the late 80s, early 90s. I refuse to accept Fall Out Boy as the definitive music video artists of this decade.

Friday, June 13, 2008

VSO's 100 Blogs...100 Typos: 30 - 21

Witness now, the last waning days of the VSO 100 Blogs...100 Typos countdown. Seventy golden entries have come and gone as we enthusiastically enter the roaring 20's. If all goes according to plan (which it probably won't), I will probably post another tomorrow and then I'll be wrapping up the final top ten by Monday night. I'm just giving everyone a heads up so they can coordinate their personal celebration plans or are planning to attend one of the numerous satellite parties that will simultaneously be thrown all across the country (including some of the more civilized parts of Canada as well). Or I could just get lazy and tease this whole mess out another two weeks.

Whatever the case may be, today's blogs await!:

30. Everybody in the Pool: Razzie Edition
February 22, 2008
As wide open and unpredictable the Oscar field was, the Razzie field was a forgone conclusion. The thing about the Razzies is that while their goal is call out the worst movies of the past year; their definition for what constitutes a bad movie is a bit different. While they'll judge a movie's poorness based on obvious things like script, acting, production, etc; the Razzie winners that really "succeed" are the high profile flops. Movies like "Showgirls", "Battlefield Earth", "Gigli", and this year's big winner "I Know Who Killed Me" are technically competently made pictures by major studios with trained actors and real directors. There are always way worse made stuff out there (if it was really up to me "Daddy Day Camp" should have swept) but they don't have nearly as high a reputation to begin with. In a way, the Razzies are based on potential and how much a film fails to live up to that. A celebration of failure, how postmodern.

29. And school's out early and soon we'll be learning and the lesson today is how to die...
July 30, 2007
It's been almost a year and I have yet to experience such a perfect storm of celebrity passings since that wild day in late July. I can't even remember when two celebrities of even Tom Snyder's stature passed on the same day (I know I shouldn't still be picking on Snyder but that's what you get when you're sandwiched with a Hall of Fame Football coach and one of the greatest directors in cinema). Although if you count R. Kelly's child porn case acquittal as the death of the credibility of the American legal system along with the passing of political journalist Tim Russert then I guess that's close enough. Burn.

28. Remember Kids...
December 11, 2007
Remember kids, despite the many advances in recent years in the overall design and energy efficiency of commercial clothes driers, it is still just as dangerous (perhaps even more dangerous with the increased need for faster, hotter dryers) to take in a cycle at the local laundromat. There are many other fun and safe activities you can have at the local washateria including:
  • Watching fuzzy reception non-cable programming on the waiting area television.
  • Watching people transfer their clothes from the washers to the dryers.
  • Getting change for a dollar.
  • Reading years old issues of Redbook and Better Homes and Gardens.
  • Searching the floor for any loose change or lost buttons to collect.
  • Collecting used fabric softener sheets to make a scarf.
  • Predicting which brand of detergent from the vending machine will be the most popular.
  • And of course, doing your own laundry
December 29, 2007
I assure you, even before the benefit of hindsight, I felt that if the Giants and Patriots, somehow, despite all odds, met again in the Super Bowl; the Giants had a more than decent chance of winning or at the very least keep it close. Of course I laughed off this ridiculous scenario since I was almost positive that the G-Men would have one of their yearly first round bounces from the playoffs. Who knew that when I left that stadium that chilly night in December that the Giants would real off the most unexpected playoff hot streak of all time? I still can't believe it and I just can't wait until a more legitimate team (perhaps my Buffalo Bills?) comes along and pushes this fluke into the back pages of the past where it belongs.

26. Boo! Five Things that idiosyncratically scared the crap out of me when I was little...and still kinda creep me out today
October 31, 2007
Quirky Pop-Up Factoid!: This is the longest titled post I have written thus far. Also, for some reason the pictures don't come up anymore of the post; which is kind of important since it's all about things I saw that scared me. I would go and fix it but, you know. The five items listed in that post did seem to indicate one thing: gigantic or malformed heads or facial features are the key to scaring/creeping me out. I think that's a pretty good formula for scaring anybody, especially children. I don't know why Stephen King bothers spending months upon months crafting nightmarish visions with the written word when he could get the same (or a possibly better) effect by just publishing a coffee table book of freaky head drawings.

25. An Open Letter to the Apple Marketing Department
September 26, 2007
Since my first love (well, more like first compromised career choice) was advertising I always enjoy any opportunity to give my two cents on the noble art of advertising. I will forever associate the start of law school with this commercial and its song. That intense period of overexposure from August to around October of last year has now forever burned Feist's single into my brain. Whether I end up in a life that's a million miles away from my current law school education or if I become the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, any memory of that first formidable year of school will be soundtracked by the first 30 seconds of that tune. And for that I will never forgive Apple, Feist, and anyone else associated with the commercial.

24. Prisoner 57
April 24, 2008
I didn't notice until writing this post that Wesley Snipes is basically the Great Black Hope when it comes to action movie stars. No other African American actor comes close to his prolific output and success in the genre. I will never view Denzel Washington as a bone fide "action hero" in the traditional sense. He's far too distinguished, cerebral, and Hollywood to make a true knock down, drag out, uncomplicated, shoot the bad guys style movie. The same goes to Will Smith. Just one look at his last six movies (five of them straight to DVD releases) shows that Snipes is truly dedicated to keeping alive the burning torch of the no-nonsense, old school, pop corn action flick, as a black man. Due to his pioneering work, an entire generation of aspiring black actors are now no longer limited to just playing Oscar worthy classy, intelligent roles or Tylor Perry comedic parts; they can kick some ass too!

23. Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money)
January 14, 2008
The window of opportunity is still wide open for those with the inspiration and perspiration to solve the world's ketchup problems. So far none of the suggestions, aside from the out of the box idea of selling just the pre-ketchup itself as a boutique item, have proven to be effective. Oh and those upside down bottles totally don't work. I have one of those gimmicks right now in my fridge and I can guarantee you that once you flip open the cap and squeeze you're gonna get some drippage. I don't know why NASA's not all over this, wouldn't pre-ketchup be an unacceptable nuisance in a zero gravity environment? What we need is another Cold War and Space Race to get the gears of American ingenuity turning again.

22. Anal Bum Cover
January 27, 2008
Like I said before, I was never one for memes but I had a lot of fun goofing around with this one. If you ever find yourself with a computer connected to the internet and you want to waste a solid hour of your time, then this is for you. I'm also convinced the album art design industry is a total racket. Even following this random and generic approach, you'll get something that's halfway decent and comparable to just about anything you'll find on the store racks today. Of course that's assuming people even buy music anymore. If the RIAA wants people to return to buying actual CDs they should make it so all CDs are sold in LP sized sleeves. Half the reason records are still so cool despite their complete obsolescence is the fact that not only are you getting music, you're also getting a sizable work of art in the sleeve. Now, that's something you can't just buy by clicking on the iTunes music store.

21. Sex Over the Phone!
May 27, 2008
It's the last entry I wrote before embarking on my 100 Blog odyssey. So I guess this shows that even after all these entries I am still cranking out quality, high ranking blog posts (which are judged by myself and arranged into my own subjective rankings). For my favorite Village Person, I'm going to have to go with the Biker. He maintained a pretty steady presence throughout the band's existence and didn't need to resort to gimmicky changes in his costume. He was a Biker at the YMCA, he was a Biker on the Navy Ship, he was a Biker in the 80s. Plus the guy had a beard that would have given Baron Davis' a run for its money. Quirky Pop-Up Factoid!: Victor Willis, the original lead singer and Policeman was briefly married to Phylicia Rashad (a.k.a. Clair Huxtable) in the late 70s.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

VSO's 100 Blogs...100 Typos: 40 - 31

The VSO 100 Blogs...100 Typos countdown is now in full downhill mode. Somehow, we've managed to get through sixty Victastic entries as we make our way through the dirty 30s. It's a sad thought for me to bring up right now, but after this entry there will only be a mere three of these countdown entries left to go. It's true what they say, time really does fly when you're leisurely posting recollections of your past work in denominations of ten. I myself at the beginning of all this figured I would get to around to 50 tops before I crapped out, abruptly stopped writing these entries, and made no further reference to their existence. So, at this point every entry since the last is just delicious gravy on my hard earned mashed potatoes.

Now, without further ado, let's roll out the blogs!:

August 20, 2007
Recently I've really started to dig fellow "Bad" single, "Dirty Diana." It is second only to the totally forgettable hit duet with Siedah Garrett "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" (also off "Bad") in terms of MJ number one hits that you just don't hear anywhere anymore. It's a shame really, cause it's definitely worthwhile just based on the fact that its his most consistently "rocking" single ("Beat It" had plenty rock but it was sort of relegated to the Eddie Van Halen solo part). I think the real reason "Dirty Diana" got relegated to the second tier was because of its lackluster music video. In contrast to the ambitious and pioneering videography of the greatest showman of the music video age, the "Dirty Diana" video is just a lazy and unoriginal, stylized concert footage laden, affair that looks like something a second rate hair metal band would have put out.

39. Imagine if you will
January 1, 2008
Wow, the very first entry of the year. Does anyone else feel like 2008 has just blazed through thus far? We're already heading on into mid-June, half the year's already over with! It's definitely one of the fastest feeling years thus far in recent memory. I made a whole bunch of half hearted, generic New Years resolutions (see #82) and included on the list was a good faith effort to try to pump out more updates. Six months in, I've been fairly faithful to that self directed promise. As for the regular exercise, increased commitment to studying, guitar practice, and reading more...well, we still have a whole half year to go!

July 10, 2007
Around this time last year, I was sweating it up on the beaches of Costa Rica (as opposed to sweating it up on the parkways of Queens) and no doubt all you loyal VH1 watchers were being inundated with "World Series of Pop Culture" promos. One of the hardest things for someone like me with a healthy amount of self esteem (i.e. arrogant jerkiness) was holding back my desire to tell everyone about how we won before the episodes aired. Being out of the country and surrounded by tv-unfriendly hippie backpackers from Europe helped, but even when I was back for the airings in July, it was difficult to bite my tongue and feign suspense. While it currently appears that VH1 has eschewed the WSOPC for more celebreality and "I Love the 00's...thus far" I'll always have the fond memories, fun experiences, and the money (most importantly the money).

37. Submitted For Your Approval
December 31, 2007
I guess the first part of my two part series of "Twilight Zone" episodes to look out for during the marathon ranks a little higher based purely on the quality of the episodes mentioned. That five hour block I wrote out had at least 2 of my personal top 10 episodes listed ("The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street" and "Five Characters in Search of an Exit"). I've considered buying the 28 DVD Definitive Collection but there's something lacking about just popping in a DVD as opposed to watching it on TV. While the DVD provides remastered video, the ability to skip around, no commercials, and essentially every possible advantage over TV; you still lose the randomness and surprise you get from just catching an episode on the air. Of course it's not to say I wouldn't accept a it as a gift from a generous reader.

36. My Love Can Only Be Expressed Through the Power Ballad
February 13, 2007
Looking at my all time iTunes playlist, somehow "Goodbye to Love" is against all odds still my most played song. Every time I randomly shuffle across it, I just have to hear it all the way from the melancholy intro to the climatic guitar outro. This difficulty in skipping over seems to be endemic to a good number of Carpenter songs that come my way. The amazing voice complemented by compositions of some of the greatest mainstream pop minds of the 70s is just the surface appeal. There is a profound sadness in her loveless pop ballads that, just based on her life story and tragic death, comes across as absolutely genuine; and in turn endlessly listenable and fascinating. Maybe one day Richard Carpenter will ease off and allow that Todd Haynes short film to be shown again.

35. Yes, Always!
April 2, 2008
As the one commenter pointed out, no discussion of a cartoon portrayal of the famous "Frozen Peas" clip by Orson Wells is complete without a reference to "The Critic's" take on the noted incident. Not surprisingly both impersonations of Wells were done by superstar voice actor Maurice LaMarche who seems to have complete monopoly on all Orson Wells voice overs in every form of media. The throwaway reference by "The Critic", a decidedly adult themed prime time cartoon, was too esoteric for its audience as it was. This makes the decision by the makers of Animaniacs to devote an entire episode segment to it, an all the more baffling and amazing act on their part. Man, I miss my old cartoons.

34. My heart healthy meaning of Christmas
December 26, 2007
At this point I'd like to point out that there are only roughly 150 or so shopping days until Christmas so all eager gift giving readers should prepare promptly. You can reference my birthday wish list for any guidance on what to purchase. One does not need be a practicing member of the Christian faith to participate as I am willing to accept your gift as a strictly secular gratuity. I will also accept cashiers checks, Diner's Club cards, gold doubloons, pieces of eight, and bags of money with dollar signs on them. Any interesting offers of physical favors may be accepted but will be open to strict overview and discrimination (obviously not the racial kind) on my part.

33. Five Random 4th of July TV Marathons That Have Very Little to Do With The 4th of July
July 4, 2007
Here are five bold predictions for this year's crop of unrelated cable marathon fare:
  1. AMC will run a 24 hour marathon cycle of the Godfather Trilogy. In recent years this has apparently become their traditional scheduling for 4th of Julys, Christmases, Martin Luthor King Jr. Days, and even numbered days of the year.
  2. Spike TV will run a marathon of James Bond movies, which will confusingly contrast with the pro American theme of the holiday.
  3. A massive scheduling blunder on the part of TBS will lead to the beginning of a sudden 24 hour marathon of "A Christmas Story". They will quickly fix the damage and run the less popular 24 hours of "A Summer Story."
  4. FX will run through a cycle of their more patriotic themed movies. Most of them will involve either the President's life being threatened (Air Force One) the American landmarks being destroyed (Independence Day) or both (Sum of All Fears).
  5. USA Network will run a day long marathon of "Law and Order: SVU," millions of people will be unable to work. I will be disappointed at the fact that the channel once again lost a golden opportunity to run a "Silk Stalkings" marathon.
32. The Junoverse and You
February 17, 2008
I've seen Juno a few more times here and there since I wrote that review and with each viewing I grow to hate the titular character more and more. The movie itself overall is fine and all the supporting characters are great (I especially find Olivia Thrilby's performance as Juno's best friend Leah to be quite underrated) but I just can't stand Juno's perpetual sass. Granted, I'm a bit of (ok a lot of) a misogynist and I'm not really a fan of strong female characters in film, but aside from her irritating independent streak, the way she talks and acts just screams ingenuousness. Not really sure what all the buzz and accolades were about, the character seems just down right cartoonish. You can give the character merits on originality but please spare me the praise for how outstandingly realistic or relatable the character was. Honest to blog.

31. Everybody in the Pool: Oscar Edition
February 23, 2008
The 80th Annual Academy Awards was definitely the most I ever got into a particular Oscar season. It was just an unusually original and unpredictable slate of movies films that in almost any other year would have either been ignored or had no chance of winning any major awards. The fates aligned to a bunch of those quirky movies go up against each other instead of some typical, conservative Oscar favorite. Atonement was as close as this year's Oscars got to a "safe" choice but in the end it was just not good enough. A brilliantly strange movie like "No Country For Old Men" could only win best picture when in a pool that contained even crazier fare like "There Will Be Blood" (the only movie I know that has its own title font).

Sunday, June 08, 2008

VSO's 100 Blogs...100 Typos: 50 - 41

There's been a few days delay, but the VSO 100 Blogs...100 Typos has returned and has entered the official hump phase of the countdown. Half of all the entries have been sorted through, now it's on to the fancy 40's. You know, a lot of people say that once you reach the halfway point of something, things get easier since you're already halfway to the end. No one ever seems to point out that getting to the halfway point also means having to do everything you did all over again as if you made no progress at all. Whether it's a research paper, or a boring lecture, long car trip, or a mile run, or a bad movie; the halfway point can't help but get me down. Of course that sort of pessimistic thinking only relates to things I don't enjoy doing. Writing vain, self congratulatory, retrospective entries about my own prior entries is always a treat!

So, like Moses in Egyptland, I say let my blog posts go!:

50. From hell's heart I stab at thee...
October 7, 2007
My original verdict of the film still hasn't changed in the time since; however I didn't get to see any repeat views so it is always up for change. I didn't get to see "The Darjeeling Limited" either but if word of mouth, critics' reviews, and that freely distributed short film companion piece with the totally unsexy Natalie Portman nude scene is any indication, it appears to be Wes Anderson at his West Anderson-iest. In the face of all the criticisms of repetitive style to even white washed racism, I still say keep on doing what you're doing Wes. It's that precious, vintage, "Stuff White People Like" filled, brand of film making that I found lacking in "Bottle Rocket." For all his flaws at least the man has a distinct aesthetic all to his own, a rare find amoung today's modern directors.

49. I'm note here to start no trouble...2008
February 2, 2008
Want to know how much of a once in an eon, cosmic fluke, the Giants' win over the Patriots was? Well, look no further than the fact that David Tyree, one of the Giants' heroes of Super Bowl XLII, who made perhaps the greatest catch in the history of the Super Bowl, may not be good enough to make the team this year. Just as Tyrees' moment of triumph was completely unexpected for a player of his mediocre skills and history and will be his fleeting high watermark of success in what will probably be the uneventful rest of his career, so was the Giants' Super Bowl win. It is highly doubtful that the stars and planets will ever align to create a scenario like that again. As surreal and maddening the whole thing was, I guess I was at least lucky enough to have seen it.

48. Ah Ziggy. Will you ever win?
May 10, 2008
The fact that my last Ziggy themed entry and my first Ziggy themed entry are separated by over forty positions shows just have much I have grown to hate that bald, friendless, mutant in only a mere ten days or so. When this extremely melancholy Ziggy first caught my eye, my main reaction was surprise at the overwhelming sadness of the whole thing. I mean Ziggy was always getting shat on in life but he'd just frown or grin and bear it. This panel, where he has obviously started crying just before the title scene began shows that decades of disappointments have finally caught up to him. One cannot help but feel a little bit sympathy for the freak.

47. I've got to stop reading the comics
May 13, 2008
My surprise over the depressing nature of the previous comic was now replaced by my total confusion over why the toilet would be talking about email. You can read it, scan it, analyze it, discuss it for a thousand years and it still will make as little sense as when you first had the misfortune of coming across it in the funnies. Recently I've subscribed to the theory that the speaker may possibly be Ziggy's own talking poop.

46. No sir, I don't like it!
May 3, 2008
Recently another triple crown series ended in disappointment and the rest of America went back to their usual routine of not giving a crap about horse racing; leaving interest in the sport of kings back to the gambling addicts and old people. Heavily favored, possible triple crown winner, Big Brown, ended up finishing dead last while 38-1 long shot (and possible Klingon) Da'Tara came out the surprise winner. Despite their best efforts, Big Brown's trainers and caretakers couldn't find any physical explanation for his perplexing lack of performance. Here's my explanation: he's a big dumb horse! All the analysis and special breeding and training, all came down to Big Brown's peanut brain saying "I don't want to run fast today." Sure there's plenty of randomness among human sports (see #49) but this is just more evidence that horse racing should really get off its pedestal and realize it's all just an elaborate game of "pick a number."

45. You don't know what its like...
January 6, 2008
In another case of me learning more about a throwaway Simpsons reference from over a decade ago, I just recently came across this wikipedia article on noted stander and walker, Rory Calhoun. If I need to explain where that reference came from, you obviously haven't been watching enough syndicated Simpsons episodes or just figured out what "The Simpsons" are. I find it funny that for an entire generation of people, Rory Calhoun will forever just be known as that guy who's always "standing" and "walking." I mean the guy seemed to have been a genuine celebrity in the 40s and 50s. He's a fairly good looking cat, he was probably his generation's James Marsden or Casper Van Dien.

44. Ain't that a fucking coincidence, cocksucka!
February 13, 2008
One of my lifetime goals is to collect all 185 or so Choose Your Own Adventure books with original cover art (not those lame later editions or those recent ones made by Chooseco). It'll totally be one of those things I'll do when I "get a job" and "live one my own" and all that jazz. I cannot think of anything else that has had such a substantial and lasting effect on me to this day (which probably explains my incredibly short attention span). I can probably start a 185 part series of entries reviewing, chronicling, and discussing my experiences with each book. Don't think I won't do it, man!

43. Grand Slammed
August 5, 2007
My unsuccessful showdown with trivia superstar Ken Jennings was the official end of my bizarre game show summer. Of course technically all the game show events actually occurred in early 2007 and were then broadcast over the summer, but you get the message. The episodes are now forever immortalized on YouTube: everything from our hokey intros, to rounds one, two, three, and four. Anytime I feel down I can always cheer myself up by watching the first and third rounds where I win and pretend that I slayed the great game show dragon. Also from here one out don't tell me how much I fucked up on the math round. Yes, I know I could have actually had a chance to win if I didn't fall so much behind on all the math problems. You know what though? I'd like to see how well you can do random mental math when the lights are low, that clock's ticking, and you've got that cold Mormon death stare focused on you.

42. I'm not here to start no trouble...
February 3, 2007
After my original, cleansing the palate post, this was my first official blog entry; a fact that would earn it a spot in the top 50 regardless of content. I guess you could say it was my insatiable, burning desire to write about the 1986 Chicago Bears' "Super Bowl Shuffle" that led to the semi-regularly updated cornerstone of internet blogging that you see today. When you look at it, "The Shuffle" is a pretty unique in that it lies on a rare nexus of the various facets of pop culture: popular music, sports, television, camp, Refrigerator Perry. It's the perfect fertile ground to plant the seeds of an esoteric pop culture blog.

41. You will find me in the matinée, the dark of the matinée
July 25, 2007
Much to the chagrin of some of my friends, my solitary viewing of "Knocked Up" solidified my newfound personal openness towards watching movies by myself. I think everyone should give it at least one shot before writing it off as too anti-social. Like I said, going to movies with friends is still fine and good, but sometimes you can can enjoy the unique benefits of going by yourself. Why should you have to deal with the logistics of large parties, or compromise on your movie selection, or hold off going to see a movie you want because you need a consensus of fellow viewers? It's the 21st century let's free ourselves from some of these close minded, primitive taboos of the past like going to the movie in groups. And while we're at it sex without love is okay too.