This Post Is Lamer Than FDR's Legs.

Well, it took over 97 years which included: 11 Oscars, the highest grossing film of all time, one of the most diabolically difficult computer games ever sold, and a baffling Tony Award winning musical; but the final survivor of the Titanic passed away earlier today. Sadly, while this all but assures that Bill Paxton will never be able to find the Heart of the Ocean, there is one silver lining to be found from this solemn passing. With nearly a century and no direct lives in being from the tragedy, whatever statute of limitations there was on Titanic jokes is officially over! Watch out Lusitania, you're next.

Also, I find it totally bananas that Gloria Stewart is still alive and kicking (and according to her wikipedia page, BFFs with fellow, surprisingly alive, nonogenarian actress Olivia de Havilland). She was actually older than the last surviving Titanic survivor!

Sax on the Beach

Although I'm not completely out of the woods yet (still one more final to fail on Wednesday), I figured I'd throw in a quickie to break up the silence.

Two weeks of nothing but constant cramming, interceded with stressful three hour exams that leave you feeling exhausted and usually disappointed is enough to give anyone a serious case of the blues. While crippling law school finals depression is not as relatable or has a catchy an acronym like S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder), it's still a pretty rough time for everyone involved. Unless you can find your own personally effective way to cope with the unrelenting anxiety and caffeine fueled negative vibes you'll end up like that one guy in the "Paper Chase" who towards the end of the movie went nuts and had to quit school.

Of course there's really one surefire, universal, instant remedy for feeling low: the Benny Hill Show end credits. Science has yet to explain its effectiveness, but that special combination of speed up footage, lecherousness, and "Yakety Sax" will never fail to elevate ones mood even just slightly. So imagine my delight when I came across "The Benny Hillifier", which harnesses the power of the internet to add a "Yakety Sax" soundtrack to any piece of video you choose. While there still no ability to comically speed up the clips, this is definitely still a bold step forward.

Some of my experiments include:

• Disturbing PSAs
• The Total Recall Trailer
• Wacky Animal Clips
• Joe Theismann Breaking His Leg
  
• That Compliation of Crazy Nick Cage Wicker Man Scenes
  
• The Pistons Pacers Brawl
• The Hindenburg Disaster
  
• The Ending to Dr. Strangelove
  
• Current Events
  

Finally a positive use for the internet