Sunday, October 27, 2013

Boo! Four more supremely esoteric Halloween ideas for your consideration.

Here's a scary factoid for you, the last time Halloween fell on a Thursday was back in 2002. I don't know about you but the fact that 2002, my freshman year at NYU and my first Halloween in the city, was 11 years ago is downright terrifying. My god did I really let myself get that old? Spooky.

The cruel relentless march of time aside, I believe that Thursday Halloweens are the most difficult Halloweens to plan out later weekend festivities around. On one hand it does feel a bit odd to be having the "official" weekend Halloween after the actual holiday in November, but the weekend prior seems a bit far off too. There doesn't seem to be a true consensus among people as to which weekend is proper. Even Wednesday Halloweens despite being awkwardly right in the middle of the week, seem to have a general agreement to have it the weekend prior, since it'd be going too far into November. As for me I'm going with the Halloween in November crowd. I do want to be clear though that celebrating on Halloween to any degree itself is a given, just speaking about the weekends as well.

With that said and with Halloween a mere four days away I figured I would hand out some treats in the form of another four spot of last minute super esoteric Halloween costume ideas for the iconoclastic, yet still undecided costumed revilers. Remember, these are for the folks that seek true originality and uniqueness; who boldly shun the topical and the trending and are willing to risk an entire evening of confused inquiries and repeated, futile explanations. If anyone wants to know what I've decided on this year, I will just say it would have been a pretty dated reference...50 years ago.

Karl Malden from the American Express Traveler's Check Ads

The late Academy Award winning actor had a seven decade long career that included classic movies like "On The Waterfront" and "A Streetcar Named Desire" and TV work like "The Streets of San Francisco". If you ask your parents they'll tell you that during the 70s and 80s he was also in a series of well known advertisements for American Express Traveler's Checks, uttering the now famous line "Don't leave home without them". I also wanted to mention that there was episode of "Tiny Toons" that had a ridiculous reference to these ads that no child in the 90s would have ever recognized; this reference is even more absurd given the fact that this was the famous episode that was allegedly written by a trio of 8th grade girls. A snappy vintage suit, an imposing fedora, and a printed out copy of an American Express Traveler's check is really all you need to pull the whole thing off. If you wanted to add a dash of flair, you may want to put on a large fake nose to reference his famously prominent proboscis. Hopefully you may run into a couple who've had their wallets stolen and you can cut a promo right there (which I'm sure will comfort them for their loss).

The "I'd Buy That For A Dollar" Guy From Robocop

Is there any movie character that has gotten as much pop culture cache out of so little screen time than the bizarre catchphrase spouting television character seen in the movie "Robocop"? I think that clip is just about the entirety of his screen time in the movie. Despite the microscopic screen time and his superfluous relationship to the film's plot, every Robocop fans recalls that gross looking middle aged man. According to a Robocop Wiki the character's name is Bixby Snyder and the show within the movie is called "It's Not My Problem!", some kind of crude, low brow sitcom that's still widely popular (so it's kind of like "Two and a Half Men"). The costume itself is pretty low maintenance, you just need to get the proper specs and mustache. It would help if you're balding, but you could style your hair close to it. Slap on a cheap suit and a bow tie and you are ready to the evening. Be prepared to say you're catchphrase, a lot; it's pretty much the only thing he says. If you had truly dedicated friends you can get two of them to be the blond bimbos that he's flanked by to really complete the effect.


Fans of the Mortal Kombat series are familiar with the easter egg of the digitized image of game sound designer appearing in the lower-right corner of the screen saying "Toasty!" after a particularly vicious uppercut (you also got to face the secret character Smoke if you hit down and start when he appeared in Mortal Kombat 2). This is by far the simplest Halloween costume imaginable. You just wear a dark colored shirt (I guess black if you want to be Mortal Kombat 2 and the more prominent purple from Mortal Kombat 3). It really helps if you're an average white adult male. Additionally the costume would only work if you're popping up from people's lower right field of vision and saying "toasty!", whenever you're not doing that, you'll just look like someone who didn't wear a costume. Still, the amazing photobombing opportunities alone on this outfit make it worth the trouble. This costume would also be well utilized at events where people are actively cosplaying Mortal Kombat characters.

Simon, who is from Space

For those unfamiliar, this costume is from the reoccurring "Numberwang" sketch from the UK sketch comedy series "That Mitchell and Webb Look" (full disclosure, I was utterly and completely obsessed with this show, and generally all things Mitchell and Webb, for about a year after coming across the series on Netflix Instant a couple of years ago...alas the show is now longer available). The sketch revolves around a nonsensical game show "Numberwang" that mainly involves the same two contestants (Julie and Simon) naming random numbers and getting points if it's a "numberwang" with each sketch adding a weird new rule or round. This costume is for the third episode where contestant Simon is introduced as being "from Space" with accompanying t shirt. While not the most memorable of scenes I was drawn to it mainly because I found multiple websites selling this shirt; and since these suggestions are for those with a bit of a time crunch I thought it was an interesting choice. I just want to point out that since it's a comedy duo show there are whole bunch of esoteric duo costume possibilities; just off the top of my head "The Helivets", "Sir Digby Chicken Caesar and Ginger", "Angel Summoner and BMX Bandit". Seriously maybe I should just do a whole post on "Mitchell and Webb" costume ideas. 

Once again I would like to mention that all the above costumes are all technically for males, but modification for female variations are encouraged. Have fun, stay safe, and remember to trick or treat with the kid with the peanut allergies, you get all his Reese's.