Sunday, June 08, 2008

VSO's 100 Blogs...100 Typos: 50 - 41

There's been a few days delay, but the VSO 100 Blogs...100 Typos has returned and has entered the official hump phase of the countdown. Half of all the entries have been sorted through, now it's on to the fancy 40's. You know, a lot of people say that once you reach the halfway point of something, things get easier since you're already halfway to the end. No one ever seems to point out that getting to the halfway point also means having to do everything you did all over again as if you made no progress at all. Whether it's a research paper, or a boring lecture, long car trip, or a mile run, or a bad movie; the halfway point can't help but get me down. Of course that sort of pessimistic thinking only relates to things I don't enjoy doing. Writing vain, self congratulatory, retrospective entries about my own prior entries is always a treat!

So, like Moses in Egyptland, I say let my blog posts go!:

50. From hell's heart I stab at thee...
October 7, 2007
My original verdict of the film still hasn't changed in the time since; however I didn't get to see any repeat views so it is always up for change. I didn't get to see "The Darjeeling Limited" either but if word of mouth, critics' reviews, and that freely distributed short film companion piece with the totally unsexy Natalie Portman nude scene is any indication, it appears to be Wes Anderson at his West Anderson-iest. In the face of all the criticisms of repetitive style to even white washed racism, I still say keep on doing what you're doing Wes. It's that precious, vintage, "Stuff White People Like" filled, brand of film making that I found lacking in "Bottle Rocket." For all his flaws at least the man has a distinct aesthetic all to his own, a rare find amoung today's modern directors.

49. I'm note here to start no trouble...2008
February 2, 2008
Want to know how much of a once in an eon, cosmic fluke, the Giants' win over the Patriots was? Well, look no further than the fact that David Tyree, one of the Giants' heroes of Super Bowl XLII, who made perhaps the greatest catch in the history of the Super Bowl, may not be good enough to make the team this year. Just as Tyrees' moment of triumph was completely unexpected for a player of his mediocre skills and history and will be his fleeting high watermark of success in what will probably be the uneventful rest of his career, so was the Giants' Super Bowl win. It is highly doubtful that the stars and planets will ever align to create a scenario like that again. As surreal and maddening the whole thing was, I guess I was at least lucky enough to have seen it.

48. Ah Ziggy. Will you ever win?
May 10, 2008
The fact that my last Ziggy themed entry and my first Ziggy themed entry are separated by over forty positions shows just have much I have grown to hate that bald, friendless, mutant in only a mere ten days or so. When this extremely melancholy Ziggy first caught my eye, my main reaction was surprise at the overwhelming sadness of the whole thing. I mean Ziggy was always getting shat on in life but he'd just frown or grin and bear it. This panel, where he has obviously started crying just before the title scene began shows that decades of disappointments have finally caught up to him. One cannot help but feel a little bit sympathy for the freak.

47. I've got to stop reading the comics
May 13, 2008
My surprise over the depressing nature of the previous comic was now replaced by my total confusion over why the toilet would be talking about email. You can read it, scan it, analyze it, discuss it for a thousand years and it still will make as little sense as when you first had the misfortune of coming across it in the funnies. Recently I've subscribed to the theory that the speaker may possibly be Ziggy's own talking poop.

46. No sir, I don't like it!
May 3, 2008
Recently another triple crown series ended in disappointment and the rest of America went back to their usual routine of not giving a crap about horse racing; leaving interest in the sport of kings back to the gambling addicts and old people. Heavily favored, possible triple crown winner, Big Brown, ended up finishing dead last while 38-1 long shot (and possible Klingon) Da'Tara came out the surprise winner. Despite their best efforts, Big Brown's trainers and caretakers couldn't find any physical explanation for his perplexing lack of performance. Here's my explanation: he's a big dumb horse! All the analysis and special breeding and training, all came down to Big Brown's peanut brain saying "I don't want to run fast today." Sure there's plenty of randomness among human sports (see #49) but this is just more evidence that horse racing should really get off its pedestal and realize it's all just an elaborate game of "pick a number."

45. You don't know what its like...
January 6, 2008
In another case of me learning more about a throwaway Simpsons reference from over a decade ago, I just recently came across this wikipedia article on noted stander and walker, Rory Calhoun. If I need to explain where that reference came from, you obviously haven't been watching enough syndicated Simpsons episodes or just figured out what "The Simpsons" are. I find it funny that for an entire generation of people, Rory Calhoun will forever just be known as that guy who's always "standing" and "walking." I mean the guy seemed to have been a genuine celebrity in the 40s and 50s. He's a fairly good looking cat, he was probably his generation's James Marsden or Casper Van Dien.

44. Ain't that a fucking coincidence, cocksucka!
February 13, 2008
One of my lifetime goals is to collect all 185 or so Choose Your Own Adventure books with original cover art (not those lame later editions or those recent ones made by Chooseco). It'll totally be one of those things I'll do when I "get a job" and "live one my own" and all that jazz. I cannot think of anything else that has had such a substantial and lasting effect on me to this day (which probably explains my incredibly short attention span). I can probably start a 185 part series of entries reviewing, chronicling, and discussing my experiences with each book. Don't think I won't do it, man!

43. Grand Slammed
August 5, 2007
My unsuccessful showdown with trivia superstar Ken Jennings was the official end of my bizarre game show summer. Of course technically all the game show events actually occurred in early 2007 and were then broadcast over the summer, but you get the message. The episodes are now forever immortalized on YouTube: everything from our hokey intros, to rounds one, two, three, and four. Anytime I feel down I can always cheer myself up by watching the first and third rounds where I win and pretend that I slayed the great game show dragon. Also from here one out don't tell me how much I fucked up on the math round. Yes, I know I could have actually had a chance to win if I didn't fall so much behind on all the math problems. You know what though? I'd like to see how well you can do random mental math when the lights are low, that clock's ticking, and you've got that cold Mormon death stare focused on you.

42. I'm not here to start no trouble...
February 3, 2007
After my original, cleansing the palate post, this was my first official blog entry; a fact that would earn it a spot in the top 50 regardless of content. I guess you could say it was my insatiable, burning desire to write about the 1986 Chicago Bears' "Super Bowl Shuffle" that led to the semi-regularly updated cornerstone of internet blogging that you see today. When you look at it, "The Shuffle" is a pretty unique in that it lies on a rare nexus of the various facets of pop culture: popular music, sports, television, camp, Refrigerator Perry. It's the perfect fertile ground to plant the seeds of an esoteric pop culture blog.

41. You will find me in the matinée, the dark of the matinée
July 25, 2007
Much to the chagrin of some of my friends, my solitary viewing of "Knocked Up" solidified my newfound personal openness towards watching movies by myself. I think everyone should give it at least one shot before writing it off as too anti-social. Like I said, going to movies with friends is still fine and good, but sometimes you can can enjoy the unique benefits of going by yourself. Why should you have to deal with the logistics of large parties, or compromise on your movie selection, or hold off going to see a movie you want because you need a consensus of fellow viewers? It's the 21st century let's free ourselves from some of these close minded, primitive taboos of the past like going to the movie in groups. And while we're at it sex without love is okay too.

1 comment:

  1. Ok-I actually liked this countdown. I've started to realize these posts have all the joys of any episode of "I Love the 80s" or "I Love the 90s", but without the slow, antiquated musings of "I Love the 70s".