Monday, August 20, 2007

Just Leave Me Alone...

I don't know if its the sudden wave of stress and anxiety from starting law school or the inadvertent triggering of some long repressed childhood trauma or that maybe it's just a tumor, but I woke up a few days ago from the weirdest dream I've had in years. The dream itself is pretty simple to recall: I was riding the trippy, literal, Michael Jackson theme park ride from the "Leave Me Alone" video.

That was totally the whole dream in a nutshell. I found myself at the beginning of the ride in that little rocket ship thing, I even had the flight cap on, and then I made that long strange journey through Wacko Jacko; the teeth, the canine reporters "doggin' me around", Bubbles the Chimp, a high stepping Elephant Man, they were all there! As disturbing as this whole dream was, the most unsettling fact after everything was that I haven't sat down and seen the whole music video in at least 5 years. When I went online to check out the video again I was amazed and a little scared at how well my subconscious had remembered all these busy scenes that I've watched only in passing. It's a shame my subconscious is only good for this…that and all those dreams with the funny talking, midget who helps me solve murders.So what did I learn after revisiting this classic video?

  1. Along with being a what I consider a top tier Michael Jackson song , the video itself is actually pretty awesome. Peter Gabriel's "Sledgehammer" has its slightly overrated usual top 5 spot in most Best Video Ever countdowns, but I can't recall a single VH1/MTV greatest videos or songs list that contained this song. According to wikipedia it wasn't released as a single in the US and was only available on CD copies of Bad, which might be some factors to why it gets so little love. The video is also totally interesting because Michael is actually sort of acknowledging his recent weird behavior and then sort of giving a creative middle finger to all the critics and paparazzi. This is a completely different Michael compared to the one who kept digging himself into a deeper, creepier hole while being interviewed by Martin Bashir or dangling babies and wondering why everybody freaked out. It's nice to see the artist in this late 80s period right before he totally lost touch with reality.

  2. If "Leave Me Alone" was an underrated song, Bad was an underrated album. I know it's hard to make the case that one of the best selling albums of the 80s and the only album to have 5 number 1 US singles is underrated but it's also the one album that has to live in the inescapable shadow of Thriller. Nobody ever includes Bad in the conversation of a top album, but I personally think it rivals Thriller in quality matching it pound for pound. For me, it actually has more killer than well...Thriller. I looked at the tracklist and noticed every other song I thought as on a later or earlier album was actually on Bad. Aside from the title track (which also is significant in bringing back the career of Weird Al Yankovic) it's also got "The Way You Make Me Feel", "Smooth Criminal", "Leave Me Alone", the completely forgotten classic "Dirty Diana", and "Man in the Mirror" which I have to admit is unexplainably high on my Jackson depth chart. Also if you're looking for another light hearted duet where Michael and some other superstar awkwardly fight over a girl a la "The Girl Is Mine" then look no further than "Just Good Friends" with Stevie Wonder

  3. Elizabeth Taylor. Nothing wrong with that. There's that one part of the Jackson ride where he goes through the shrine to Elizabeth Taylor filled with all those pictures of the iconic film star and I must say she was quite the looker. Despite her long and accomplished career I have to admit I haven't seen a single movie of hers, save for her turn as the annoying mother in law in The Flintstones movie. I think it's a real shame that she spent most of her youth during Haynes code era Hollywood so there's no dirctor's cut of Butterfield 8 with edgy, hard hitting frontal or even titillating yet tasteful sideal nudity.

  4. Finally, a real life version of the "Leave Me Alone" ride would be pretty sweet and fairly feasible. People loved Captain EO and that was just a movie presentation. I can see it now, it'd be a water based ride into a huge hollowed out Michael structure with all these anamatronics, that big hand comes up and photographs you at the high point of the ride and afterwards you can get a little tabloid with your best roller coaster face on it. You'll zoom past the iguanas and blast right through the teeth and after it all you'll be rewarded with a duo with Michael and the bones of the elephant man. While the rocket ride will be the main part, there are like 4 other mini rides going on at the same time from the parachute drops from his arm to the Ferris wheel around his chest; the possibilities for expansion are endless. The sound track of the ride would also be a random Michael Jackson single every time for added novelty. The way I see it if Aerosmith can get their Rock n' Sell-Out Coaster, why not the king of pop?


  1. I'm sure that if I am not already in the group of crazy ladies who are only interested in you because you won the WSOPC, I will be after this post. However, I am shocked after reading this because you just wrote about my favorite Jacko song. Most people don't even know the song when I mention it.

  2. Seriously though... you are so hot!!! I think that you are a hot male version of me.

  3. It's what I always strive to be.