Thursday, November 15, 2012

78 Lines About 26 Women: A to M


I had the strangest dream last night that I was writing a series of rhyming haikus (are haikus even allowed to rhyme?) about fictional ex-girlfriends from A to Z. When I woke up I remembered about half of them. The incompleteness was inexplicably bothering me so I spent a good chunk of my attention at work coming up with the other half (fortunately my work doesn't require all that much of my attention). After all this, I have to say the creative power of the unconscious mind is a truly awesome force. In my dream I was just reeling these off like nothing; while it took me significant mental energy and counting syllables on my fingers to fill in the gaps during my waking hours.

So here's the first half of my weird, partially dream penned, fictional girlfriend rhyming haikus from A to M (and here you thought there was no classy literature on this blog). Note: these are all characters and scenarios are based fiction; in fact I don't even think I know any girls personally with these names.

Ended bad with Ann
It was great when it began
Didn't follow plan

Fun times with Brandy
She was splendidly randy
And sweet like candy

Oh beautiful Claire
Perfect skin and gorgeous hair
But her head was bare

The thing about Dee
I don't believe she liked me
It ended quickly

Start again with Eve?
Not too crazy to believe
This time, I will leave

You win for now Faye
You're in my head once a day
It pains me to say

Sweet, wonderful Gwen
I wonder what could have been
Every now and then

Grade school love Haley
We kissed after school daily
Moved on to Bailey

I must say Irene
You're best when you're extra mean
You find that obscene?

The lesson of Joan
Our relationship has shown:
Sometimes stay alone

I am sorry Kate
For my showing up so late
To our only date

Serious Lily 
Couldn't ever be silly
Always so chilly

Raven haired Mary
Worked at the mortuary
Pleasantly scary

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