Thursday, December 25, 2008

I Saw Mommy Getting Shot By Santa Claus

Further contributing to 2008's strong case as one of the worst years ever, Christmas 08 is now officially ruined by this horrific Santa-related mass killing coming out of the west coast. It's some seriously fucked up shit; especially the descriptions of how it all began:
The massacre began when an 8-year-old girl answered Pardo's knock at the door. Pardo, carrying what appeared to be a large present, pulled out a handgun and shot her in the face, then began shooting indiscriminately as about 25 partygoers tried to flee, police said.
The girl thankfully survived, but definitely, hands down, the absolute worst way to break it to a child that there isn't a Santa Claus.

So in terms of totally inappropriate pop culture reference to sum up this horrible tragedy I'm thinking:

Weird Al's "The Night Santa Went Crazy"

or just plain...

"Bad Santa"

"Silent Night Deadly Night" will always be the wittiest title and I do appreciate the straight forward description of "Bad Santa" (I'm pretty sure there's a good chance that the Post or the Daily News will lead off with that gem of a headline tomorrow); but I'm personally going to have to go with "The Night Santa Went Crazy". Aside from it taking place in the North Pole, the events are eerily prophetic (Santa snaps, starts killing indiscriminately). I was also going to include a Xanta Klaus reference, but I thought it might have been too soon.

In any case, I'm sure this news has definitely harshed everyone's Christmas mellow. But, chins up, only a week or so until a brand spanking new year. Until then can we still enjoy that classic scene from "Silent Night Deadly Night 2"?

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