Thursday, July 03, 2008

My top 10 favorite offensive song titles from Anal Cunt's "It Just Gets Worse."

It's probably not surprising in the least that I am not a fan of the hardcore band, Anal Cunt. Over the years I've found that I don't particularly dig the sounds of any bands or artists who are categorized in genres with "-cores", i.e. grindcore, hardcore, noisecore, (although I have to admit I make an exception for horrorcore...Gravediggaz had some scary shit). Aside from my lack of interest in the genre, from a completely objective standpoint, A.C.'s "music" is just down right terrible. An A.C. song could be described exactly as Hobbes described life in "Leviathan": "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short." Their songs border on the downright unlistenable; just a messy cacophony of distorted guitars and bashed in drums complimented by shrieked out simplistic lyrics that are completely incoherent and run about a minute long. Even as just a purely shock act, they lack the amusing theatrics of GWAR or the musical talents of Cannibal Corpse. As musical artist, they're just plain awful.

However, what A.C. lacks in ability, they make up for in sheer creativity and originality. Even the fact that they gave themselves a name that was so vulgar and offensive that it would guarantee them absolutely no chance of mainstream exposure or success can be seen as admirably iconoclastic (there's a Slate article that sort of ponders the question of why bands would give themselves unprintable names that, like nearly all Slate articles, ultimately leads nowhere). The band's act is obviously one big joke in trying to create the most offensive, nastiest band with the most offensive, nastiest songs and lyrics imaginable, which their large cult following of fans are hopefully in on (because it would be incredibly frightening to think that there are people who legitimately take these song titles and lyrics to heart). Not anyone could be this awful, even if they tried. It takes a special type of brilliance to come up with such consistent, uniform tastelessness; like a good Aristocrats joke. And in my opinion, the band's magnum opus in terms of the worst, most distasteful titles is their 1999 release, "It Just Gets Worse", a 39 track clusterfuck of repulsive vulgarity and insensitively. There may be better albums in terms of performance and songs, but for it's sheer number of classic offensive titles, this is it. So culled from the full array of violent, racist, homophobic, antisemitic, misogynistic , and cruel titles are my top 10:

10. I Sold Your Dog to a Chinese Restaurant (Racism and animal cruelty, all in one. Especially poignant in the post-Michael Vick era)

9. The Only Reason Men Talk to You is Because They Want to Get Laid, You Stupid Fucking Cunt

8. Your Kid Committed Suicide Because You Suck (Probably would have been number one on my list if they went with the original title Connor Clapton Committed Suicide Because His Father Sucks. Even I have to say that might have gone too far.)

7. I Got an Office Job for the Sole Purpose of Sexually Harassing Women

6. Hitler Was a Sensitive Man (This actually has a chorus that's intelligible and I have to admit I found myself randomly humming it once until I realized what the song was.)

5. I'm Really Excited about the Upcoming David Buskin Concert (Actually it's not offensive in the least, but its bizarre place on the album made it all the more interesting to me)

4. I Sent Concentration Camp Footage to America's Funniest Home Videos

3. I Made Your Kid Get AIDS So You Could Watch It Die (So wrong.)

2. I Became a Counselor So I Could Tell Rape Victims They Asked for It

1. Women: Nature's Punching Bag (No need for elaborate, graphic, sentence; just simple, straight up women hating.)


  1. Don't know what albums they're from, but "You're Pregnant, So I Kicked You in the Stomach," "Rancid Suck (And The Clash Sucked Too)" and "All of Our Fans are Gay" are my personal favorites.

  2. I'm a big fan of Leftover Crack's "shoot the Kids at School" for offensive albums. It has the best shout outs ever, "this one goes out to the Columbine kids." on the title track. And Adolf Satan's second album is pretty bad too.