Thursday, May 09, 2013

Crunchy Numbers: Birthday Edition

Now that all the mild hullabaloo over my 29th birthday had dissipated, I can now go back to the business of quietly dying slowly of old age. Before I close the book on another public acknowledgement of my birth, I thought I'd throw out some hastily prepared, random numbers regarding all the birthday greetings I received. I didn't feel like messing with PowerPoint to crank out some hideous chart of teal shades this year. Had I the infinite time and actual talent maybe I could have tarted them up into a visually pleasing "The Oatmeal"-esque info-graphic but alas I'm just going to drop them in a simple list (you're lucky to even get bold numbers).

Note: Despite the modest numbers these stats were still pretty haphazardly tallied and organized so I would say they're closer to estimates:
  • 31 - Birthday greetings written on my time line. It's one more than last year so it would appear I am stagnating in terms of Facebook friendships.
    • 20 - Facebook birthday greetings that ended with one exclamation point. Not much variation this year in terms of punctuation. Are we getting set in our ways as we get older?
    • 3 - Facebook birthday greetings that ended with two exclamation points.
    • 1 - Facebook birthday greetings that ended with three or more exclamation points. Indicates a distinct lack of manic enthusiasm.
    • 5 - Facebook birthday greetings that ended with no punctuation at all.
    • 2 - Facebook birthday greetings that ended with a period.
  • 2 - Facebook message greetings. Facebook messages always get lost in the communication mix, more personal than a wall post but not quite as personal as a text message or possibly even an email. 
  • 3 - Emails with a birthday greeting.
  • 5 - Automatic emails from random forums and websites I signed up for years ago that still remember me and send my crappy discounts. You'll never be alone on your birthday if you give a website your date of birth.
  • 3 - Text message birthday greetings.
  • 5 - In person birthday wishes. These were limited since I never told anyone at work that it was my birthday.
  • - Phone call birthday greetings. What a novelty!
  • 1 - Alleged "gift" being mailed to me. 
  • 1 - Early birthday greeting.
  • - Belated birthday greetings.
  • 2 - Birthday greetings that were sent from abroad, to the best of my knowledge.
  • 6 - Birthday greeting that were variations on me being old.
Alas, no singing telegrams or skywriting, perhaps for the 30th...

1 comment:

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