Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Victor's Three Random Resolutions for 2013

Another year, another wave of irrationally inflated optimism about personal change. When it comes to my New Year's resolutions I keep things simple: I merely copy the list of resolutions Samuel L. Jackson read off during his monologue when he hosted the first SNL of 1998. For the past 14 years or so it has not steered me wrong. While there have been times where I failed to "give it as good as I get it" or didn't quite "show the man that I mean business", it has been a trusty template to work off of through the years.

In addition I do throw in a few new projects that are more specific to the year. These are more specific, idiosyncratic, personal ambitions. Here are three to look out for in 2013:

  1. Get A Twitter. I've been meaning to get one of these for a while. My initially inadequate understanding of how they work made me feel old (following a line of retweets and twitter correspondences still confuses me). I fear this is just the first example of a new technology passing me by in my inevitable progress towards being a technologically illiterate senior citizen that my grandchildren will one day mock for not understanding how to turn on a holographic mood simulatron. So I figure I should try to keep up a little and get one some time this month. It would seem like a good outlet for a lot of my half formed thoughts that just don't have enough substance for a proper blog (random aside: that SNL sketch where Norm Macdonald as Larry King rattles off a series of silly non sequiturs basically sums up my view of tweets) . Additionally having transit updates from NJ Transit would be quite helpful.
  2. Finally See Every Twilight Zone Episode. Despite my obvious obsession with the series, my years of Twilight Zone Marathon viewing, and the fact that I own the entire series on DVD; I still have not seen every episode of "The Twilight Zone". To my credit I have seen the bulk of the series and have at least read about them in "The Twilight Zone Companion". There are probably about a dozen episodes that I haven't watched or completed watching. I won't lie, most of these are in the 4th and 5th, the final 2 seasons of the show, where the series really ran out of gas. The 4th season went the mostly disastrous route of expanding the already thin episodes to a full hour while the 5th season was filled with tired retreads from an exhausted and depleted writing staff. None of the unwatched episodes are acknowledged classics but who knows, there might be some underrated episodes in the mix. I do owe it to the show to see the whole body of work.
  3. Cash In On The Growing 90's Nostalgia Trend. As this decade progresses, the public hunger for all things 90's grows day by day. Boy bands are reuniting and touring, old sitcoms are being remade, and tumblrs and pinterest boards are filling up with screenshots of Clarissa. It seems the reliable 20 year cycle of public nostalgic interest is turning over. The 80's are now officially too old to reference and the 00's are still too fresh to reminisce. A man can get quite rich in this 90's boom if he plays his cards right. I don't have any specific plans at the moment but I feel I should make some effort to take advantage of this period. Maybe I'll start dealing in out of print editions of "The Bailey School Kids" or write a treatment for a "Hey Dude" reunion movie where the gang returns to help a down and out Mr. Ernst save his ranch, or perhaps design a new line of Nick Toons themed Zubaz pants. 

1 comment:

  1. My reactions to these resolutions

    1) Twitter - I would follow the shit out of you. I think it's the perfect medium because everything funny you say is 140 characters or less.

    2) Twilight Zone - The worst is the season they shot on video (or cinescope or whatever they had before flip cams). If you can get through that you are my hero.

    3) 90's Nostalgia - No. 2000's nostalgia. That's where the money is. Start buying your Kerry/Edwards buttons and limited edition FIRST PRESSING Crocs right now.