Friday, December 31, 2010

First season episode list for a fictional weekly TV series about me and my student loans

The New Year is just about here and optimism abounds for the prospects of next year. Even a pretty pessimistic guy like me has to admit that he still feels some degree of enthusiasm at the idea of a fresh new beginning. Unfortunately this year, it has been exceedingly difficult to build any momentum for the new year since January '11 is also the time when the rest of my student loan debt, built up over 7 years of higher education, finally starts becoming due. Some other loans that came due earlier have already taken much of the juice from Christmas; really there is nothing like sending a cool G to Sallie Mae to really get oneself into the spirit of giving (at least my high-paying legal job will help with the repayment...oh wait...). However as my mother always said "when life gives you lemons, make punny fictional lemonade", so here is the complete, totally made up, episode list for "Victor vs. A Life Time of Student Debt" season 1:
  1. Episode 1: Sallie Mae-hem! (Pilot)
  2. Episode 2: PLUS-sized Trouble
  3. Episode 3: Fun with Forbearance
  4. Episode 4: An "Interest"-ing Development
  5. Episode 5: Stafford Syndrome
  6. Episode 6: Subsidized Pleasure, Unsubsidized Pain
  7. Episode 7: Perkins Envy
  8. Episode 8: A Fistful of Late Fees
  9. Episode 9: Disaster Deferred?
  10. Episode 10: Showdown in Wilkes-Barre
Not quite sure what the tone would be. Tragedy? Comedy? Action? Vorshtein? Oh and to those rich/lucky sons of bitches who have no idea what all these student loan references are, I hope your butler spits in your fillet mignon tonight.

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