Thursday, April 15, 2010

Helpful Tax Tips

So today is April 15th, "Tax Day". Maybe if I ever actually held down a job and earned enough income this would mean something to me. Until that terrible time, the Ides of April will continue to remind me of large chains giving out random free stuff and, of course, legendary WWE heel Irwin R. Shyster, better known as IRS.

I understand that since he's a heel the tips above are supposed to be unfair and unconscionable, but really from what I've learned in my basic federal income tax every one of those "tips" seem to be fairly accurate. You shouldn't be claiming your pets as household dependents. Tips from work and money made from garage sales are generally gross income and should be reported. He even includes the forward thinking green message of getting rid of your gas guzzler.

It's quite an admirable commitment to accuracy when compared to the outrageous antics of contemporary heels like the Repo Man (who would arbitrarily reposes random items from other wrestlers without any cause) or The Goon (just because he claimed to be a former hockey goon didn't explain why he would come to the ring in a full hockey outfit, complete with skates). For me, the only questionable move by IRS was teaming up with the Million Dollar Man to from Money Inc. Sure, it turned out to be a highly successful tag team partnership, but I always figured a tax stickler like IRS would always be at odds with an unscrupulous millionaire like the Million Dollar Man who you knew was working more angles than Exxon and GE to avoid paying taxes.

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