Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Picture This!

I had just recently finished watching my Netflix copy of 1958 Best Picture Academy Award Winner (and overall poor man's "My Fair Lady") "Gigi" and was about to put it in the return envelope when I noticed something about the the iconic title font that I had never noticed before.

Now am I crazy or is a title font like that better suited for a disturbing "Saw"-like horror thriller than a lavish, G-Rated, period piece musical? I guess with a winking Leslie Caron head doting the "I" it never looked all that menacing on the poster, but really in this context it reminds me of a grittier version of the title font for "Cujo".

Perhaps in another universe "Gigi" is actually a gruesome piece of unsettling torture porn where it turns out that, in addition her striking beauty and youthful, charming personality, the title character hides a unquenchable homicidal blood lust; a secret that her handsome, love stuck beau Gaston (among many others) figures out far too late.

Any producers out there who feel like desecrating a classic, get in touch. I'll whip up a treatment in no time.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

No, Money Down.

I don't think Peter Fonda knows how fortunate he is this morning. He was just a mere comma away from making next month's Oscar Death Montage. I didn't actually end up clicking and reading the full article itself, but I assume the "dead body" was eventually determined to be his career post "Thomas and the Magic Railroad".

Monday, January 10, 2011

Five things that, according to Macho Man Randy Savage, are not as exciting as eating Slim Jims

Potato Chips
By far Macho's most restrained, stripped down, production.

Working at a Pizza Place
It's fairly obvious who has "snapped" here.

Studying at the Library
I think the librarian's question was more than reasonable.

Replacing Light Bulbs
Does the store owner really deserve all that abuse?

Amateur Productions of "Romeo & Juliet"
"Art Thou Bored?"

Man I miss watching Saturday afternoon wrestling in the 90s.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

Are You Ready to Ride the Snake?

I just noticed that Jim Carrey will be hosting the first new Saturday Night Live of 2011 tonight. Astonishingly enough this will be his first time hosting since 1996! I don't know about you but I find it a bit baffling that such a modern comedy giant and sketch comedy veteran, who would likely be the most ideal kind of host for the show, was last on to promote the release of "The Cable Guy". Perhaps he still has a lingering loyalty to his early "In Living Color" days and is reluctant to appear on their old rival (which, if true, I would totally support since I never liked the idea of people on other less prominent sketch comedy shows eventually becoming famous enough on their own to host the evil empire; fortunately I don't think we'll have a problem with any superstar former "Mad TV" cast members coming on)?

Overall the fact that Jim Carrey is hosting isn't something I am all that excited about. The show will most likely still be about 85% comfortably mediocre to terrible (at least this time it'll probably more due to the writing than the host's performance). The lone exciting prospect for me about the return of Jim Carrey is the remote possibility of the return of one of my favorite SNL sketches: "Jimmy Tango's Fat Busters". While all SNL bits are subject to major diminishing returns, to once again see a hyper manic, meth addled, Carrey urging his audience to "Ride the Snake" would be infinitely superior to some one note sketch about New House Speaker John Boehner crying too much or an extended edition of "What Up With That?". Actually I think the skit could still work 15 years later. If anything the sketch is more relevant today than ever, obesity is way up and, as the news and "Breaking Bad" has shown, meth-amphetamine use is rampant.

All I can say is I'm more than ready to "Ride the Snake".